


Tell Me

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9983849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Barbara has something she needs to share with Tommy, but she cannot find the words.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

_It’s cold on this cliff top; the wind is blustering, my hair alternates between whipping me across the face and flowing out in waves behind me. Tonight is not a night for being out and about, but I need some time alone. I’m crying long and hard, my eyes red from the biting wind and the salty, stinging tears. I didn’t think that I had any more tears to give, obviously I am wrong. I’ve done my best to hide how I am feeling from Tommy, but his invitation to join him at Howenstow leads me to believe I have failed. I can’t tell him what is wrong._

_I look at my watch, it is getting late and I should head back to the house. Tommy will probably be hunting for me, I didn’t mean to be out for so long._

I have searched the house from top to bottom, but there is no sign of Barbara. Over the last few weeks she has been distracted and preoccupied, refusing to stay the night with me, not wanting to make love. I thought that a few days away at Howenstow might make her open up to me. As soon as we arrived she headed up to our room for a nap. I let her be until supper was ready, when I went to find her. The bed was untouched, the room empty. I never heard her leave.

I am frantic with worry. The idea of Barbara stumbling around the estate in the dark terrifies me. If she strays from the path there are plenty of dangers; uneven terrain, potholes, unfenced cliffs. My mind helpfully conjures up an almost infinite number of worse case scenarios. I am just about to pull on my coat and boots to start looking for her when she walks through the door. My words of chastisement die on my tongue, it is obvious that she has been crying. I hurry to her side, pulling her into my arms.

“Where have you been?”

“I needed some air.”

I put my arm around her and lead her into the family room, settling her in an armchair. Stoking the fire and adding another couple of logs, I move to sit on the floor next to her.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on Barbara?”

She turns her face to the flames, “I can’t Tommy.”

I push myself up onto my knees and gently turn her face to mine.

“You can. We’re a couple Barbara, you can tell me anything.”

She is crying again; silent tears track down her face. I wish she would share her burden with me; whatever it is, it is destroying her.

I softly stroke her cheek, drying her tears with the pad of my thumb.

“Tell me Barbara; let me take some of your pain.”

She leans into my touch, closing her eyes before beginning to speak.

“I do love you Tommy, and I’m sorry that I’ve been pushing you away. You’ve shown the patience of a saint the way I’ve been behaving. I have a good reason, I promise you, I just…”

I keep caressing her, encouraging her to trust me.

“I didn’t know, I didn’t even suspect, I wouldn’t keep something like that from you if I did.”

She sighs, covering one of my hands with her own.

“That weekend we were supposed to go away, I woke up bleeding. I didn’t want to worry you, that’s why I told you not to come around when I rang to cancel. I went to A&E, and they told me I was having an early miscarriage. I didn’t know how to tell you Tommy, not after what happened with Helen. Will you ever forgive me?”

I stand, lifting her into my arms before walking to the couch. We nestle together, wrapped in a warm embrace.

“I’m not angry Barbara. How could I be angry with you? I wish you had told me, and I hate that you have been dealing with this alone, but I will never be angry with you for loving me and wanting to protect me.”

My shirt becomes wet from her tears, while my tears dampen her hair. Finally, united in pain, we silently grieve for our child.


End file.
